You’re almost embarrassed to search “how to tell if you’re pretty” — because some people would immediately (and unfairly) label you a narcissist for doing so.
But there’s nothing wrong with wondering: How do I know if I’m attractive to men?
And that’s what we’re discussing today.
We’ll begin with a short exploration of what it means to be “attractive” and close with clear signs that often happen to conventionally attractive folks.
What Does Being Attractive Mean?
“Attractive” has a single meaning with multiple connotations. Strictly speaking, attractive is an adjective that means “pleasing or appealing.”
People typically use it in two main ways.
- Exteriorly: To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with caring about your appearance. It’s usually healthy and looking our best supports good mental health. But strictly speaking, when someone calls another person “attractive” without really knowing them, they’re talking about looks.
- Holistically: Another way people use the word “attractive” is to indicate when someone has a great personality and is fun to be around. In these cases, an average-looking person may appear better-looking to folks who enjoy who they are.
In nearly all situations, people end up with partners they find attractive on both fronts.
Also, remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
How To Know if You’re Attractive: 19 Signs That You Are
What are some signs you are attractive exteriorly? Let’s review some common indicators that you may fit the current standard of being pretty.
1. Strangers Stare at You
You’re at the store, and you notice people staring at you. When your confidence is waning, or you’re navigating a patch of low self-esteem, the attention can increase your anxiety.
Because from your vantage point, the stares feel punitive and critical. But, in truth, the culprits probably think you’re good-looking.
People tend to look away from things they find unattractive and ignore what they deem average.
So if eyes quickly latch onto you, there’s a better-than-average chance you’re attractive.
Reality Check: Are you wearing something flashy or attention-grabbing? Or perhaps you have a colossal hairdo that folks can’t help but notice.
2. People Behave Like Superheros Around You
You’re in the supermarket and drop something; immediately, someone swoops in to help. Or you’re walking down the street, don’t notice a commotion, and a kindly stranger goes out of their way to get you out of harm’s way.
Instances like this are a common occurrence for demonstrably attractive people. Why? Because people are looking at you!
Reality Check: Some real-life superheroes will go above and beyond for anyone.
3. Eyebrows Raise Upon Meeting You
When people meet you, their eyebrows tend to raise. It’s a body language tell, and people doing it may not even realize they are.
You may initially interpret raised eyebrows as a sign of questioning or even disgust. But when it happens, rest assured that the person finds you attractive.
Reality Check: Again, is there something unusual or surprising about your facial accessories or makeup? That may be another reason people react with raised eyebrows.
4. People Are Always Doing You Favors You Don’t Request
Do people offer to do you favors without prompting? At work, people constantly ask you if you want a coffee.
If you live in an apartment building, neighbors may offer to help you carry your groceries or laundry. At stores, employees may give you freebies or discounts.
Sometimes, this attention makes you feel awkward. And in worst-case scenarios, jealous people in your life may try to frame the situation negatively and accuse you of being demanding or needy.
But you can’t help it! You don’t ask for these perks; they just happen.
Reality Check: If you live in one of those small towns where people always lend a hand, performing unprompted favors may be a cultural instinct.
5. Babies React Positively to You
Believe it or not, studies show that babies are drawn to good-looking individuals. Researchers believe they’re attracted to the symmetry of beautiful faces.
When they see you, they may smile or start gurgling. In some cases, they’ll even stop crying and fussing when they gaze upon a knockout!
Reality Check: On the flip side, if a given infant doesn’t respond positively to your presence, that doesn’t mean you’re ugly.
6. People Let You Be Rude Without Consequence
Often, incredible-looking people get away with terrible behavior. When people are smitten with how these people look, rudeness and other undesirable personality traits get lost in the glow.
Resultantly, attractive people must make an extra effort to be self-aware and kind, as they’re spared the clues average-looking people get about their behavior.
Reality Check: Do you have low self-esteem? Are you insecure? Do you stress about how you come across and constantly analyze how you say things? In truth, you may not be near as “unkind” as you believe.
7. People Constantly Slide Into Your DMs
You open your phone in the morning to a bunch of direct messages. It’s a common occurrence, and you may not realize that’s not most people’s experience.
It’s essential to be careful with strangers who send suggestive messages. It’s fine to introduce oneself and offer a comfortable compliment. But be wary of folks who cross the line.
Reality Check: Do you work for an influential person? You may have a lot of money, and people want to use you for your resources.
8. Your Dating Profile Is a “Fan Favorite”
You’ve never had a problem finding matches on dating sites. Potential partners are constantly winking, nudging, and swiping right.
Notice, however, the type of people who like you. Do they fit your taste? If not, it may become apparent that certain types of people find you attractive and not others.
Reality Check: What types of people are “blowing up your spot?” If they’re shady, you may be a “phishing” target.
9. People Consume What You Put Out
Have you ever noticed how many influencers are “sevens” and up? It’s because people are drawn to good-looking YouTubers and other influencers.
That doesn’t mean you can’t be successful in the field if you’re not stunning. But attractive folks may frequently have an easier time breaking through.
Reality Check: You could be a successful content creator because you’re great at your job and produce things people want to watch.
Are your friends and family always telling you about people commenting and asking about you after they post group pictures on social media? If so, you’re probably better looking than the average bear.
Reality Check: Are you gregarious? Do you show a whole bunch of skin in pictures? That may be another reason you stand out among the crowd.
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11. People Become Discombobulated Around You
Do people get tongue-tied in your presence, especially the first time they meet you? Maybe they even sweat or say foolish things. This discomfort may stem from a rush of hormones.
On the opposite side of the coin, they may also be silent and stare. Also, notice if they rub their neck or chin when speaking to you. It’s a body language sign that they think you’re hot.
Reality Check: We never know what’s happening in other people’s lives. And sometimes, people may act awkward around you because they have something else on their minds.
12. Men Don’t Often Ask You Out in Person
You get a lot of “action” on dating profiles, but it’s rare for people to ask you out in person. What’s the deal with that?
In many cases, you’re so stunning that people find you intimidating. Also, without the benefit of knowing you’re looking for love — (as is the case when you have a dating profile) — they may assume you’re attached. After all, someone so gorgeous surely couldn’t be single, right?
Reality Check: We live in the digital age, and many people don’t date the old-fashion way.
13. People Are Surprised by Your Intelligence
Unfortunately, the old trope that beautiful people can’t also be smart is alive and well. To be specific, this typically doesn’t happen to men, but it’s as common as teenage pimples for women. (Grrrrr!!!!)
So if people are constantly shocked when it becomes evident you have a good brain on your shoulders, there’s a good chance you’re better looking than the average person.
Reality Check: You could be a genius, and your outsized intelligence is a genuine marvel.
14. People “Breadcrumb” You
You’re at a party. It’s crowded. But one or more people seem to know where you are at all times. They look at you from across the room, and every so often, BOOM! – they’re at your side — usually asking if you need a drink or something else.
This behavior is called “breadcrumbing.” It’s as if your pheromones leave a trail that others can’t help but follow. And it’s a surefire sign that you’re attractive.
Reality Check: The person you think may be following you around may not be. Or, they could be interested in someone you’re with.
15. Strangers Frequently Compliment Your Knockout Attribute
Are strangers always commenting on your hair, eyes, or other features? When people can’t help but praise your looks, it’s a sign that you stand out among the crowd.
If this happens to you frequently, it’s wise to learn how to take a compliment gracefully. Not being able to do so may come off as rude.
Reality Check: Some people go out of their way to compliment folks who may fall on the “lower” side of the attractiveness scale.
16. You’ve Gotten Jobs Above Your Resume
We all like to believe we live in a pure meritocracy. But the truth is far from that. Unfortunately, we all have implicit biases, and research shows that attractive individuals easily get jobs.
You may even get offers for positions that are well above your proverbial pay grade.
For example, you may not have the required educational or experiential credentials but get the green light anyway.
Reality Check: Are you being set up for failure? It’s possible if other dynamics are at play.
17. Certain Female “Friends” Will Treat You Poorly
One of the most challenging issues hyper-attractive people must endure is meanness. That may sound counterintuitive. After all, we just spent the last few minutes talking about how “nice” strangers are to good-looking folks.
But things are often different with people who know you, like acquaintances and colleagues — especially for women.
Jealousy can rear its ugly head, and some women may treat attractive females terribly. They’ll talk about you behind your back, not include you in lunches and other events, or even be openly rude to you for no good reason.
Reality Check: Are you being rude? Behaving like a prima donna? If so, people will treat you like you treat them.
18. Some Men Will “Not Like You” (For No Reason)
Men may also be rude to women they find attractive. Why? A few reasons are common.
- They assume you won’t like them, so they’re preemptively rude.
- They’re annoyed they’re attracted to you because you don’t fit a specific mold.
- They have a partner and are annoyed that their person isn’t as good-looking as you.
- They want to sleep with you but know they can’t.
- You’re their friend’s partner; they’re jealous, so they misdirect their tantrum.
You may be scratching your head, but these thought patterns are more common than many believe.
Reality Check: Again, is your attitude the actual problem?
19. People You Know Rarely Compliment You
One of the more “backward” signs of beauty is that people rarely throw you a complimentary bone. But when you’re very “hot,” people you know may not compliment you much.
They assume you’re inundated with praise, have an ego, and therefore don’t want to “give you a big head.”
Sure, people may offer a perfunctory “you look nice” if you’re all dolled up at a fancy party. Otherwise, they’re mum.
In some cases, they may even say something negative when you’re looking good to soothe their internal competitive devil.
Reality Check: If you’re insecure about your appearance, you may fish for compliments from friends and family. And they may resist giving them because they think you’re too self-focused.
If you’ve read through the signs and realized you’re good-looking, congrats! It’s a gift. Because as much as we like to think that “looks don’t matter,” being attractive is a huge life benefit.
But if you fall into the category, also make sure to ground and check yourself regularly. It’s easy to fall into unkind patterns when people are constantly tripping over themselves to be around you, regardless of how you behave.
Moreover, remember that not everyone will find you attractive — even if you’re the most beautiful person in the world. So don’t make assumptions.