My friends, if you’re having a rough day and it feels like the whole dang world is out to get you, just remember…
1.
The person who learned one of life’s most important lessons:
2.
The person whose sheets just got a sick new design:
3.
The person who will forever regret accelerating in that specific moment:
4.
The person whose chocolate chip cookies might be a tad overdone:
5.
The person whose landlord was kind enough to practice their amateur taxidermy on a kitchen counter:
6.
The person whose dream of becoming an MLB middle reliever died that day:
7.
The other person who learned one of life’s most important lessons the hard way:
8.
This person who is about to have a very cronchy lunch:
9.
The person whose stairs will forever be filled with tiny specks of compost:
10.
The person who had quite literally the unthinkable happen to them and their poor toothbrush:
11.
The person who got off the bus and stepped straight into Hades itself:
12.
The person who got themselves a nice sear:
13.
The person with a computer that is now part soup:
14.
The person about to have a very white kitchen:
15.
The person who will forever be sitting in a lake of Diet Dr. Pepper:
17.
The person who, much like J. Paul Getty, will never, ever leave oil alone again:
18.
The person who added a brand-new ingredient to their makeup:
19.
The person who loves their child very much, I’m sure:
20.
The person who surely has the goopiest kayak around:
21.
The person whose breakfast seems to have gone nuclear:
22.
The person who straight up sneezed their coffee every which way:
23.
And the inventor of a brand new bird poop latte:
